Positive Reinforcement

When working with young children or interacting with your own its important to try and use positive reinforcement. Some parents do not realize the difference between discipline and punishment. Children are very sensitive people. The smallest things can make a child feel bad about themselves. Use a lot of positive words with your children such as ‘good job, telling them they are special and beautiful, and praising them when they do well’ When faced with a bad situation show them how to remain calm and confident. Lead by example. If a child is throwing a fit do not recognize that behavior, but if a child has accomplished something they are proud of, give them praise and make them feel good about themselves. I think it will make a difference in their lives because they will have more self confidence and look for the positive things when faced with a negative! Positive reinforcement means focusing on the good things your child does and reward them (or praise them), rather than only punishing the bad. An example would be "great job! you put together a puzzle all by yourself, you forgot a few pieces, lets try and find where they go" rather than "you’re not finished yet, you didn’t get it right you forgot 2 pieces.” It’s the little things you say that give children their confidence, so say positive happy things to children and they will behave and react in a positive and happy way.

4 steps to prevent child abuse

Some people think there is nothing they can do to prevent child abuse. They believe parents are going to treat their kids the way they want and no one can stop them. THEY’RE WRONG! If you have witnessed a child being abused, REPORT IT! Your voice can save a life.

4 steps to prevent child abuse:

STEP ONE:

Offer parents your help and support.

Sometimes parents lash out on their children because of things such as job loss, abuse as a child, substance abuse, mental health concerns, lack of information, or lack of parenting skills. So by relieving some stress from the parent and offering your support, you may save a child from abuse.

When you’re talking to adults about the children in their care, some helpful hints include:

Ø  Being helpful and supportive, not judgmental and critical.

Ø  Strike up a conversation, Say something like “My child did the same thing the other day," or "Being a parent can be tough sometimes, can't it? “

Ø  Focus attention on the child, saying, "He or she sure has a lot of energy."

Ø  Paying attention to the child may divert the parent's anger.

STEP TWO:

Report Child Abuse

Remember, you do not need to make a decision about whether abuse or neglect occurred; you are just reporting your concerns.

Report child abuse concerns to your local Child Protective Services. If you think a child is in immediate danger, call the police/911 immediately.

STEP THREE:

Understanding Child Abuse Laws

 Adults who work with children such as teachers, doctors, nurses, and social workers are required by law to report any suspected neglect or abuse. The state or county agency that provides Child Protective Services has the legal authority to investigate and evaluate the facts. Once you make a report, Child Protective Services agencies are not free to give you any information about the case. But they will be able to say whether a case has been proven or not.

STEP FOUR:

Help Prevent Child Abuse

Believe it or not, we all have influence over children. A caring adult can
prevent or reverse the harm caused by an abusing or neglectful parent.

Child abuse prevention is a community issue.

Get involved in American Humane’s Front Porch Project and help protect children by reconnecting with your neighbors and your surrounding community.

http://www.americanhumane.org/children/stop-child-abuse/report-child-abuse/

Concrete Angel

Concrete Angel by Martina McBride is one of the saddest songs about child abuse. Just listening to this song makes me cry.

Lyrics:

She walks to school with the lunch she packed

Nobody knows what she's holding back

Wearing the same dress she wore yesterday

She hides the bruises with the linen and lace

The teacher wonders but she doesn't ask

It's hard to see the pain behind the mask

Bearing the burden of a secret storm

Sometimes she wishes she was never born

Through the wind and the rain she stands hard as a stone

In a world that she can't rise above

But her dreams give her wings and she flies to a place

Where she's loved
concrete angel

Somebody cries in the middle of the night

The neighbors hear but they turn out the light

A fragile soul caught in the hands of fate

When morning comes it will be too late

Through the wind and the rain she stands hard as a stone

In a world that she can't rise above

But her dreams give her wings and she flies to a place

Where she's loved
concrete angel

A statue stands in a shaded place

An angel girl with an upturned face

A name is written on a polished rock

A broken heart that the world forgot

Through the wind and the rain she stands hard as a stone

In a world that she can't rise above

But her dreams give her wings and she flies to a place

Where she's loved
concrete angel

**This song tells the story little girl who is abused by her alcoholic mother every day. She goes to school with bruises hidden under clothes. She wears the same clothes every day. 

Her teacher can tell that there something going on with the little girl but she does not ask about it or report it. One night the little girl’s mom got out of control and beat her to death. The neighbors could hear the little girl crying but they also did not do anything about what they heard.

In my opinion this little girl represents the struggles of millions of abused children who suffer in silence every day. it also tells people who listen to this song that if they see signs of abuse or witness abuse that they need to report it because one person can have a voice for the children who are afraid to tell anyone physical or emotional pain they go through every day. You can save a child’s life by reporting any signs of abuse.

**The music video makes this song even sadder. In the video the little girl makes friends with a little boy angel who was also abused and killed. You don’t realize he is an angel until the end of the video when everyone is at the little girl’s funeral and you see the little girl who was now an angel who is finally at peace. She is finally happy in heaven with people who love her.


A link to watch the Music video to this song is posted below.

http://s164.photobucket.com/albums/u9/beaneye1_matthews/?action=view&current=MartinaMcbride-ConcreteAngelvcd.mp4

If I had a million dollars

Everyone has fantasized about what they would do if they had a million dollars at some point in time. I have always had plans for when I get rich. (WHEN)

I would buy a huge mansion HUGE! Inside I would have a McDonalds, Pennstation, and White Castles on the first floor. Each restaurant would come with a fool staff. Then I would buy a few new cars, ATV’s and dirt bikes f. And a HUGE garage to store them all. I would buy a brand new wardrobe for my boyfriend, my child and I. In the backyard of my Mansion I would have a heated in ground pool with a waterfall and hidden caves to swim through with a big hot tub hidden behind the waterfall. Something you would see on MTV Cribs.  I would have cameras in every room and a security staff to protect my family and I. I would buy nice houses and new cars for each member of my family and pay them off. A college fund for my unborn child and a house for when she or he gets old enough. I would also invest in something that would continue making me money so I don’t run out after my million dollars is gone.

A Child Called "It"

One of my favorite books is A child called ‘it” Dave Pelzer

This book is  very well written and detailed. This is the best book on the subject of Child abuse I have ever read. It is inspiring to children who suffer every day in silence.


About this book:

There was this little boy named Dave who lived with his mother, father and 3 little brothers. His life was wonderful, when he was real young his mom used to take him around the neighborhood looking at Christmas lights. His mom was so nice to Dave at first. She loved him unconditionally. His father was a fire fighter who stayed gone a lot throughout the week.

The turning point in Dave’s happiness was when his mother turned against him. She started drinking. Dave’s mom did so many wrong things to him. She made him wash dishes with a sink full of scalding hot water  he had to keep his hands in the water at all times. One time his mom caught him with his hands out of the water and she slammed his head into the kitchen counter. His mom never let him change his clothes, take a shower and was barley allowed to eat.

His mom did so many horrible things to Dave. He ran away once and was picked up by the police where Dave’s father was called and he was returned back home with his abusive mother. One day a social worker came for a visit to observe Dave. That day his mom gave him a shower, something to eat, gave him new clothes and let him outside to play. She was trying to keep him from telling the social worker what mean things his mom had done. She couldn’t fool the system though and Dave was taken from his home and put in foster care but his struggles don’t stop there.

There are more books about Dave and his life story leading all the way to a book called A man named Dave.

New mommy

It can be the scariest thing in the world when the doctor says those words that’s change your life forever. It can be even scarier if you are a teenager in high school. Ask anyone and they will tell you having a baby when you’re a teen will ruin your life. Well I disagree. Yes, a baby will change your life and your dreams will change but to say it will ruin your life is wrong. When I found out I was pregnant a lot of people were disappointed in me. More than disappointed, they were mad. They said my life was over and that I would never get to have fun again.

I was living with my aunt and my grandma came to pick me up for school every morning before she went to work. When I told her I was pregnant, she was livid. She said my life was over and that I’m not going to be able to do it. She thinks I’m going to stop going to school and just ruin my life completely. She will no longer take me to school. Which does not make sense to me because if she doesn’t want me to ruin my life, why would she stop taking me to school and make it that much harder for me to graduate?

My opinion:

They’re all wrong. I‘m not saying it will be easy because I know it will be the hardest thing I have ever done, but I know I can handle it.

So, my old goals:

1.       Get and keep a job

2.       Graduate and go to college

3.       Get a college degree in Child Psychology

4.       Have enough money to live comfortably

My new goals:

1.       Prove my grandma and anyone who agrees with her wrong!

2.       Do everything I planned to do with my life even if it takes longer than I expected.

3.       Never let my baby go without.

4.       Raise my child better than I was raised.

5.       Make sure my child is successful in life.

My life has changed completely but it's absolutely not over.